51 replies to this topic

[Penblade the Bard]

It's been great learning more about you guys. Here's another thing I just thought up. If I posted some story ideas on this site would you guys give me some feedback and help me find plotholes and the like? I ask because I've got dozens of story ideas and I want to figure out which ones I should focus on. I've been trying to work on all of them at once for a long time but it just isn't working. What do you guys think? Help me?

[Chef]

That'd be pretty interesting.  I like hearing story ideas, so you can expect some feedback from me, at least.  I'll try to be as critical as possible, but not too critical.  Otherwise I just sound like a dick.

Anyway, feel free to post any ideas you have.  'Twould be entertaining.

[Redcoat]

You have my critical eye. I'm very willing to give you help with story ideas, since I love critiquing things.

[Vithar Megilaglar]

I say go for it, if anything, you'll learn how to make better ideas quickly.

Also, try to limit giving ideas to Redcoat. It always ends badly.

[Durandal]

I agree with Vith. It's a bad idea, don't try it.

Anyways, give it a shot! We'd be more than happy to help.

[Penblade the Bard]

Okay, now you guys are starting to scare me. Will he eat my soul or something? Please tell me I'm overexaggerating.

[Chef]

God knows what Red does with the souls he captures.  I prefer not knowing.

[Nowe]

Hmmm, this could be....intriguing. You have my axe.

[Redcoat]

I don't bite, Penblade. That hard.

Nah, it's just my reputation as a GM. ;D And in nation-politic games.

[Durandal]

And my bow!

As well, don't believe in his lies, Pen! He's the definition of PURE EVIL.

[Shokushuko]

I know I like bouncing ideas off people too. So you're free to~

[Lyon]

And my sword, and we just did that in reverse order... Ah well.

[Armos]

And then young Frodo and his hobbit friends returned to the shire where they scared away the Ring-Wraiths from a nearby town, crossed the Brandywine river via ferry, floated to the top of a hill and walked back to Bag-End, where an old Bilbo came back home and Gandalf captured the spirits of fire nymphs floating above the shire in what we would call fireworks and then threw Frodo at a tree before ridding out of the Shire and to where-ever Gandalfs go

[Shokushuko]

And my tentacles~?

[8-bit]

I'd be glad to help ya out, Penblade. Have at you!

[Penblade the Bard]

Okay, sorry for disappearing boys and girls. I've just been feeling really "blah" the last few weeks. Anyway, here's my first story idea. This one's actually a fanfiction (I've been doing a lot of those lately) for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, so I'd love feedback from any bronies out there.

It starts out with the CMC wandering around doing their thing, getting in trouble, finding their cutie marks. After a failed attempt to help Doctor Whooves fix the Tardis Scootaloo is excited to find a new way to get their marks, but it turns out Applebloom and Sweetie Belle have to help their respective sisters that afternoon, so Scoot is left all by her lonesome. She tries to hang out with Rainbow Dash (of course) but RD is busy. She tries to tag along with Fluttershy, but after a never fully explained event involving the CMC and Flutter's chickens the softspoken pegasus timidly refuses Scootaloo's offers to help her with (Haven't decided what yet). She even tries to find and play with Derpy, but she's off delivering a package. All the encounters and subsequent brush-offs will circle back to the problem that Scootaloo, being so young, can't fly yet.

Meanwhile in Canterlot, Celestia has caught the flu and has been confined to bed. This wouldn't be so bad if she weren't the most powerful magic user in the frickin' world! After a horrendous fit of sneezing and coughing (at the end of which Celestia blacks out and falls asleep) a magically charged storm starts to brew over the ocean, far at the edge of Equestria. The storm starts rotating and moves over the land, growing stronger as it goes.

Back in Ponyville, Scootaloo is depressed and having lunch by herself. She soon notices that all the pegasi are dropping things left and right and flying away in the same direction. She catches Rainbow Dash and asks her what's going on. Apparently, all the pegasi have been called home to Cloudsdale because a storm that wasn't created by either a pegasus or nature was starting to form, and the head honchoes in charge of the weather need all the help they can get to study it. Scootaloo begs to go along, but once again, she can't fly. Rainbow promises that she's just going to check out the comotion, not really being a pony for study or research, and will return in a few hours.

So as the storm reaches Ponyville everyone hunkers down and stays inside. Time passes slowly as everyone, safe inside, waits for the storm to pass. The storm never gets very violent near the ground, but up in the sky is a different story. Scootaloo, sheltering with Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Rarity, Applejack, Twilight, and Spike in the library, gets very nervous at about the three hour mark after Rainbow Dash left. Everyone keeps assuring her that everything will be fine, then they see Cloudsdale fly overhead, huge chunks of the city swept off and torn apart in the storm. Everyone is horrified, but there's nothing they can do; all the pony's that could fly were already in Cloudsdale.

Scootaloo panics as well, but then she has a flash of brilliance and starts to read, yes, read. She sprints all over the library, gathering specific books like her life depends on it. The other crusaders wonder if she's snapped until she shows them her plan. Using Applebloom's mechanical knowledge, Sweetie Belle's knowledge of fabrics and such (being Rarity's sister), and Scootaloo's inborn knowledge of flight, as well as all the information she's gathered from the books, they are going to build an airship capable of navigating the storm. (In case you think of it, they can't use Twilight's balloon because it would just blow away in the wind).

I'm going to end this post here, because if I don't cut this into parts it will get insanely long. I'll follow up with the rest of the story in a bit, but first, dinner and a break from the computer screen. If you have any comments so far, please do comment.

[Chef]

I don't know anything about brony culture, so I'm a bit useless for this one.  

Although there seems to be plenty of others here that could help in this area.  

[Redcoat]

With Chef here. Not a brony. Sorry. ^^;

[Penblade the Bard]

Don't worry, you'll become bronies someday, just like the rest of the world, in the great pony revolution of 2015. Just remember, don't struggle. It'll only hurt more if you struggle. Just give in to the ponies and everything will be all right... forever.

[Redcoat]

I'm sorry, but the fact that "forever" found its way to just above the part of your sig banner where it goes dark is brilliant. Just saying. XD